When my partner and I first started hanging out, we decided to head up Caer Caradoc to find the famous cave of Caractacus, built into the rocks just below an ancient hillfort.
The hillfort is defunct now, but I'm expecting spears drawn on me anyway because apparently saying "partner" is woke now. I don't know what that means, only that if offends people on (you guessed it) Facebook, and I've been bombarded with requests for alternative word usage every time I say it, and it's freakin' hilarious. In the past few years we have learned that the entire world is run by a bunch of nonces, but this is what boils peoples piss? I'm going to say it more.
Someone even said "partner" is political. We're walking up a hill. Calm the fuck down.
Caractacus had real problems.
In regards to the history, this is a rare treat for me. This blog so often allows me to cast my gaze back to the Victorian and Georgian era, but here we can actually look back further than that to eras of Knights (the armoured kind, not the Jimmy Saville kind) and Royalty (the Arthurian kind, not the Prince Andrew kind) to a time before the English came over in their boats and took all of the jobs, when Britain was a hodge-podge of smaller Celtic tribes.
Caer Caradoc is Welsh for the Fort of Caradog, an alternative name for Caractacus. But it's not just the ancient fortifications that makes the hill amazing. The hill itself is volcanic rock thrust upwards from a fault line eons ago.
The cave, however, is said to be man-made.
According to legend, the cave was a hiding place for Caractacus, a historic figure who led the Celtic tribes in one last stand against the invading Romans in 50AD.
Back then, Britain was completely different to how it is today. It was mainly just made up of Celtic tribes, and Caractacus was the chief of the Catavellauni tribe that lived in what is now Bedfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Berkshire, and that general area. They were one of the larger tribes, sort of being the Celtic equivalent of a superpower. In addition to opposing the Romans while under the leadership of Caractacus, it seems that they had once led the resistance against Julius Caesar a century earlier too.
Caractacus became chief in 35AD, and expanded the Catavellauni territory, eventually pissing off another Celtic tribe, the Atrebates. Their leader, Verica, fled to Rome and appealed to Emperor Claudius for help. Claudius was said to suffer from physical disabilities, being described as having a limp, involuntary head shaking, a stammer, and being prone to dribbling. Historians believe that he may have had cerebral palsy, although his grandmothers diagnosis was "a monstrosity of a human being."
But by not being seen as a credible threat during various purges under Emperor Tiberius, he ended up being the last male in his family when the reign of Caligula flopped, and consequentially he became emperor. And it turned out he was pretty good at it. The physical disabilities masked a pretty sharp mind.
Britain had a reputation among the Romans for being fierce and dangerous, having resisted Julius Caesar a century earlier. Claudius believed that the conquest of Britain would show the world that they had underestimated him, and secure his place in Roman history. And here was Chief Verica giving him the excuse he needed to go over there and kick some butt. And that's just what they did when they met the British forces in the Battle of the Medway.
The British lost, and Caractacus fled west, to what is now Shropshire.
Looking inside, the cave sure is dinky! I've definitely seen more impressive caves. Certainly ones that feel more deserving of such local myths and legends. But it's said that in 50AD this was either the stronghold of Caractacus, or his hidey-hole when everything went tits up.
After fleeing his fallen kingdom, Caractacus reached out to two tribes called the Silures and the Ordovices that inhabited what are now South-east Wales, and the Powys/Shropshire area. He encouraged both of these tribes to join forces under him, and defend against the Romans in a battle that allegedly took place on this hill.
The Silures in particular are interesting in that they had a dark complexion that makes some people believe that they were of Spanish origin, but I digress. Perhaps I'll revisit that topic in the future.
The Romans leader Publius Ostorius Scapula was said to be reluctant to have the battle here, but his soldiers had been trudging all over Wales after Caractacus and having finally caught up with him they pretty much insisted on battle. And Caractacus lost once again. It's said that after the Romans captured his brothers, wife and daughter, Caractacus slipped off and hid in this cave, seemingly waiting for the Romans to bugger off under the pretence that he had fled the hillfort entirely. Once the coast was clear, Caractacus fled north. He ended up seeking refuge among the large Brigante tribe in what is now Yorkshire. The word "Brigante" now survives in Welsh as "Braint," meaning Prestigious or Privilege. But this might not have meant high class. Given the Pennines run through their land, historians think it may have meant high elevation instead. Unfortunately for Caractacus, their ruler Queen Cartimandua, was friendly with the Romans. She arrested Caractacus and turned him over to them. It was an unpopular decision though, and led to a revolt among her own people. Whoops.
I love the view looking out from the cave.
There's a little groove in the back wall that looks like it may have been dug out for someone to sit on. But was it actually the buttcheeks of Caractacus that graced this stone?
The truth behind the story has been contested. Several other hills also lay claim to being the site of the battle. This hill is really only implicated because of its name, Caradoc being an alternative name for Caractacus, but this isn't even the only Caer Caradoc in Shropshire.
Furthermore the Roman historian Tacitus says that the hillfort was next to a river, and that the Romans had to cross this river in order to launch their attack. No such river exists next to Caer Caradoc. But it's worth noting that despite being a renowned historian, Tacitus was born in 56AD, a few years after the battle took place.
Nevertheless, old maps attribute the cave to Caractacus, and publications from 1855 say that there can be no doubt that the cave is his. But then publications from 1978 say that researchers have concluded that the cave isn't actually that old. In some ways, that makes it even more intriguing. It's man-made but its origins are shrouded in mystery.
Wartime mentions of the cave and Caractacus are pretty interesting because they blend the legend with wartime morale boosting. A publication from 1939 claims that his defiance of the Romans has been passed down the bloodline into Britain's modern resistance to dictatorship.
Having been captured, Caractacus was reunited with his family in Rome, and they were paraded through the streets, before being presented to Emperor Claudius. Caractacus then gave a powerful speech, arguing that his stubborn resistance had only made Rome's victory over him even greater. Claudius, seemingly agreeing that Caractacus had helped him procure the reputation he desired, decided to spare him. Caractacus was allowed to live the rest of his days in Rome. His fame had preceded him and many people treated him like a celebrity, but he was just gobsmacked by the grandeur of the city, saying "You have all this but still you want our small huts?"
(Caractacus ranting to Emperor Claudius- engraving by Andrew Birrell of a painting by Henry Fuseli)
His progeny were later credited with helping bring Christianity to Britain. Saint Cyllin was said to be his son, and Saint Eigen was his daughter, possibly the first female saint. Some sources even go on to say that the Second ever Pope, Linus, was his son, but I haven't found much in support of that. Of the tribes he once commanded, the Ordovices and the Silures were eventually subjugated in 78AD, although it's said that the Silures were particularly difficult, and were the last ones to fall.
It's interesting to me that Britain fell to the Romans largely because the Atrebates had invited them in to help them with another Celtic tribe. This brought about the downfall of Celtic culture in Britain and life was never the same again. Sure, the Catavellauni were swinging their dick around and pissing people off, but the Romans proved to be a larger threat to Celtic cultural identity. It is fun to speculate what Britain would be like if the Atrebates and Catavellauni had learned to co-exist instead of opposing each other. The Catavellauni had unified most of Southern England and maintained it for several generations, so their expansion was a slow push towards some sort of British unification. Given more time, Britain may have gone the way of Germany, unifying without Roman input. But that is just speculation.
There's a little geocach box in the cave. This is cool!
It contains a log book, a pen, a pencil and a stamp. But alas, it has not been closed properly and everything inside is soaking wet. It does contain a few entries by people who have found the cave before, but the paper was too soggy for us to make our own input.
Obviously I put it back once I was done looking at it.
Anyway, check out the view!
Caer Caradoc also has ties to Arthurian myths. According to legend, Arthur hid the cauldron of Dyrnwch in the cave. The cauldron allegedly has the power to distinguish the brave from the cowardly because meat would only boil for brave people. A story from the 11th Century, arguably one of the oldest Arthurian stories, tells of how Arthur stole the cauldron from Dyrnwch (sometimes Diwrnach) because his friend was only allowed to marry the woman of his dreams if several impossible tasks were completed. Arthur is presented as the ultimate wingman, stepping in to perform these tasks for his mate. Dyrnwch is sometimes a giant, sometimes an Irish man, all times dead by the end.
Many see the story of the cauldron as an early version of the Holy Grail, but I'm a little unsure how it came to allegedly be here in this cave.
Much to my surprise, an argument has been made for Arthurian myth to have its roots in Shropshire. A book "King Arthur: The True Story" makes an intriguing thesis, arguing that Camelot was at Viroconium, now Wroxeter.
According to the Welsh monk Nennius, Arthur was one of the last British leaders to make a stand against the Anglo-Saxon invaders. He doesn't give dates, but one of these battles, the battle of Badon, is referred to in another historic source by the monk Gildas, placing it around 500AD.
Popular myth makes Arthur out to be the king of a unified Britain, but Nennius refers to him as part of an alliance of British kings. A nice compromise would be that he simply led the largest kingdom of the time. In 500AD this was Powys, covering most of the midlands including Shropshire, the capital being Viroconium. The Romans had long buggered off, but there is evidence that there were alterations made to it around the dark ages, meaning that someone was still using it.
The chief of Powys at the time was Owain Ddantgwyn, whose last name meant "White Tooth." Owain Ddantgwyns battle name was "The Bear" and this, in the Celtic Brythonic language, was "Arth."
The book goes into more depth and is worth a mooch for anyone who likes Arthurian legend and wants to see if there are any historic sources to it.
The Victorian folklorists Charlotte Burne and Georgina Jackson take things to another level in their book "Shropshire Folklore: A sheaf of gleanings," originally published in 1886. It contains an abundance of old Shropshire myths and legends, many of which are sadly not so widely known today. One of these is that Caer Caradoc imprisons a fire demon, and that when a solitary cloud sits on the summit, the fire demons hands can be seen trying to break free. Her source of this story was a local who had been told the tale by her grandfather.
Gotta love Shropshire, with our legendary mountain cryptids. Fire demons on Caer Caradoc, demon dogs on Clee Hill, and some kind of black cat on the Wrekin. It's like a Pokémon region here.
But it sure is interesting, given that this is volcanic rock. I have no doubt that at some point, early humans must have witnessed some tectonic awesomeness, but has this really been passed down all the way to the 1880s? That's pretty far fetched. But then, it seems like the most logical source of a myth about a fire demon trying to escape the mountain, short of there being an actual fire demon.
Ultimately, despite the fact that stories about the cave are embellished, the fact remains that it IS man made, and that raises the question, if it wasn't the home of a fire demon, the hiding place of a cauldron or the stronghold of a warrior, what was it?
Because I can accept that these tales might be nonsense but if that's the case then why pick this cave for their made-up stories? There's a million other caves that are bigger and deeper but somehow this tiny one has captured the imaginations of the ancient locals. Which leads me to think something must have happened here. The truth is long lost, perhaps passed down and diluted along the way, but it I do find the caves mythological significance to be very disproportionate to its size. Its importance has to have come from somewhere.
False or not, the cave being created more recently than the battle only casts doubt on the caves use as a refuge, not necessarily on the battle that allegedly took place here. This WAS a hillfort, and these rocks, cast upwards by some prehistoric volcano, likely remain the same as they were to those first century Celts and their ancestors. Those who built the fort would still recognise it today.
And on top of that, this cave has been known as Caractacus's Cave for centuries. Just think how many people have come up here to find the famous cave and take in the view. This adventure and this view are something I share with thousands of people across just as many years. That's incredible.
My next blog will be on the travel blog. It's a film set and I am VERY happy to be talking about it. I'm happier still to have survived, because through no (maybe moderate) fault of my own, I might not have.
In the meantime, if you want to stay updated with my blogs, then social media is the way forwards. If you follow my Facebook page, *maybe* you'll see my posts. Try Instagram too. It sometimes shows my followers my posts, but not often. I'd really like to see more people get onto the likes of Bluesky, Cara and Vero, sites that give us what Twitter and Instagram used to before it all became algorithmic bullshit designed to make us miserable. Try that, if you want.
Thanks for reading!




























































